The speaker of this poem is in high need of some reassurance from her mother. The poem expresses her aloneness on this unstable road of puberty while hinting at her consideration of suicide: “There is nothing I want to do and too much that has been done” (line 19-21). It appears that she can’t picture her future because it is so overwhelming for her in this time yet each stanza she attempts to see herself living longer: “What if I die before morning” (line 8-9), “suppose I die before graduation” (line 15), “will I live long enough to grow up” (line 32-33).
If there were an adult there for her, she would be told that these feelings are normal and that she will get thru it; instead, being alone likely adds to the pressure she feels. The speaker makes references to both immediate problems and all encompassing problems but she is unable to discern between the two: “I have nothing to wear tomorrow will I live long enough to grow up” (line 31-33) “The boy I cannot live without (typical of pubescent love spells) still sucks his thumb in secret” (line 3-5) It’s possible she has considered her boyfriend as her rescue from her situation but gets very little comfort from it since he is only a kid himself.
Every question she asks, which are never ending, (evidenced by no question marks signaling the end of the any question as well as that every stanza is a single run-on sentence) falls upon no one's ears but her own; a fact, I am sure, she wishes to escape.
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I agree that the girl needs to have an adult to help her in her life. In your blog, you pointed put a line about the boyfriend. I guess I never put much thought into that line. You made a good point about him only being a kid himself.
ReplyDeleteI also never realized that line meant she had a boyfriend that was too much of a child. I think that helps explain a little more about the story. Good catch.
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